Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and wonder, “Who am I… really?” I sure do. And I think the answer might be this: Cindy Cervantes. “Who is Cindy Cervantes?” you ask. Cindy is a woman I’ve never met. My doppelganger. I was visiting Denver a few weeks ago, and on my way…… Continue reading See you in Denver: The Story of my Doppelganger
I love writing on things that weren’t meant to be written on — napkins, bridges, decrepit buildings, library books, wet concrete, drunk people’s faces. Some might call it vandalism…and yeah… that’s about right. But it’s also my desire to communicate without actually talking to people, because people are terrifying. I’d much rather leave a frosting…… Continue reading The Story of Glorified Vandalism
“Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized.” Margaret Atwood I’m pulling for everyone affected in the Manchester attack, and in all acts of violence everywhere, mind you, but I want to take a second to appreciate the resilience of little girls. One would assume that…… Continue reading In The Face of Tragedy, Look to Little Girls
On my walk to work, I pass the old Allegheny County Courthouse and Jail, a big stone building with creepers growing up the northern wall. At about shoulder level, there is a rectangle cut in the stone with a patch of brick beneath. I’ve made it my superstition to touch the brick on my way to…… Continue reading Show The World Your Stones But Remember Your Bricks: Euphemism or Metaphor?
It’s a fact of life: small people will try to make you feel stupid, and you’ll desperately want to kick them in the groin, but civilized society says you can’t. What to do? First, I recommend one thorough daydream about a swift kick. Then, instead of resorting to actual violence, check a few things off…… Continue reading How To Resist Kicking Mean People In The Groin
Remember career day in middle school? You had to pick 3 potential careers and someone from that field would come in and talk. I think you were supposed to try new things every year but I always picked the *same ones. My go-tos were professional dancer, writer, and hairdresser. I only chose **hairdresser because they…… Continue reading Career Day: What Would I Be If I Wasn’t a Writer?
I know the signs of an oncoming panic attack. Heart races, hands shake, vision blurs, chest tightens, temperature fluctuates, and if it’s going to be a particularly bad attack, my arms go numb. If things get really bad, I turn into a giant blueberry. At least, that’s what it feels like. Sometimes it’s best…… Continue reading Panic Attacks and Popcorn Kernels: The Story of Exploding
Let’s just get this out of the way. If a mood ring had fingers, would it wear a mood ring? From there it’s just inception. Like standing between two mirrors. Hey. I’m feeling moody. Maybe it’s a writer thing, but I’m all over the place. I just haven’t been able to write any good fiction…… Continue reading If I Wore a Mood Ring It Would Give Me The Finger
As of late, I’ve been in a bit of a blogging slump. Maybe because I’m in the process of moving and have a lot of other stuff on my mind, like the exploding washing machine, which by the way, I’m thinking of writing a two-person *musical about. Or maybe my slump started when the temperature…… Continue reading Christmas Angel (No, Not Tim Allen): The Story of Mrs. Claus