Anecdotal Evidence · Big Fat Wine Tears · Bigger Than My Body

The Story of Doubt and Dirty Clothes

Comparing your success to someone else’s success is a slow descent into hellfire, not unlike doing your laundry. Exclusively when, like me, your washer and dryer are in a deep dark pit beneath the shared apartment you’re renting.   I’ve fallen down the steps and blindly fondled cobwebs like it’s my job (note: would be a…… Continue reading The Story of Doubt and Dirty Clothes

Anecdotal Evidence · Drunk · Travel

A Texas Moon in Barcelona: The Story of an Onion and my Bare Butt

I haven’t blogged in 3 months. Frankly, I’ve been in a slump. Slump-dom, a veritable Kingdom of Slump, where finishing a bottle of wine on the porch is an accomplishment on par with doing laundry or writing a letter to my senator. So what happened these past three months? Aside from horrible, horrible things worldwide….…… Continue reading A Texas Moon in Barcelona: The Story of an Onion and my Bare Butt

Anecdotal Evidence · Big Fat Wine Tears · Bigger Than My Body · Travel

Traveling Riverside Blues: Tips to Travel with Depression

I will never understand why some people don’t care to see the rest of the world. I’m not sure if it’s “Earth Live” or seemingly infinite internet access, but I feel like they aren’t seeing things clearly. The world is a dang fantasy novel that you can experience FIRSTHAND, not just from your couch. As someone who…… Continue reading Traveling Riverside Blues: Tips to Travel with Depression

Anecdotal Evidence · Bigger Than My Body

Show The World Your Stones But Remember Your Bricks: Euphemism or Metaphor?

On my walk to work, I pass the old Allegheny County Courthouse and Jail, a big stone building with creepers growing up the northern wall. At about shoulder level, there is a rectangle cut in the stone with a patch of brick beneath. I’ve made it my superstition to touch the brick on my way to…… Continue reading Show The World Your Stones But Remember Your Bricks: Euphemism or Metaphor?

Anecdotal Evidence

How To Resist Kicking Mean People In The Groin

It’s a fact of life: small people will try to make you feel stupid, and you’ll desperately want to kick them in the groin, but civilized society says you can’t. What to do? First, I recommend one thorough daydream about a swift kick. Then, instead of resorting to actual violence, check a few things off…… Continue reading How To Resist Kicking Mean People In The Groin

Anecdotal Evidence · Big Fat Wine Tears · Bigger Than My Body

Life’s a Bitch, But It Finds a Way: The Story of Mixed Messages

Disease is a creep. It lurks in the corners of our bodies, twiddling its thumbs and stroking its villainous mustache. Or without warning, it simply appears — bing-bang-boom, THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED. It seems like when life begins an upward climb, illness breaks in like the weirdo who doesn’t knock before waltzing into the shoddy-locked bathroom. When that happens,…… Continue reading Life’s a Bitch, But It Finds a Way: The Story of Mixed Messages

Anecdotal Evidence · Big Fat Wine Tears · Bigger Than My Body · Travel

An Ode To Teenage Wasteland

Do you have songs that make your ribs swing open on a hinge, and pump your heart full of helium? If one of those songs isn’t Teenage Wasteland (yes, nerds, I know it’s actually called Baba O’Riley), then you’re wrong. Now, like any other self-respecting millennial couch potato, the first time I heard TW was…… Continue reading An Ode To Teenage Wasteland

Anecdotal Evidence · Big Fat Wine Tears · Bigger Than My Body

Panic Attacks and Popcorn Kernels: The Story of Exploding

I know the signs of an oncoming panic attack. Heart races, hands shake, vision blurs, chest tightens, temperature fluctuates, and if it’s going to be a particularly bad attack, my arms go numb. If things get really bad, I turn into a giant blueberry. At least, that’s what it feels like.   Sometimes it’s best…… Continue reading Panic Attacks and Popcorn Kernels: The Story of Exploding

Anecdotal Evidence · Big Fat Wine Tears

Rule #1 – Don’t Panic: The Story of Me Breaking Rule #1

As mandated by my dad, there is one rule in my family and that is don’t panic. I think it’s a good rule, but ironic as we are all freakin’ psychos who panic all the time. For example, the Christmas tree fell on top of me the other night, and I screamed like I was…… Continue reading Rule #1 – Don’t Panic: The Story of Me Breaking Rule #1

Anecdotal Evidence · Big Fat Wine Tears · Bigger Than My Body · Drunk · Travel

Beautifully Average: The Story of How Everyone At Panera Bothered Me

I probably shouldn’t have a blog. I’m scatter-brained, mildly inappropriate, and most days I lead an exceptionally average life. But then I went to Panera and witnessed a murder. No, just kidding. But I did go to Panera and I almost committed a murder. So, I’m sitting by this loud couple who keeps talking, shouting…… Continue reading Beautifully Average: The Story of How Everyone At Panera Bothered Me