Musings

Connecticut Fear: The Story of How We Got Punk’d by Gordon Ramsay

This weekend, my mom and I went to the Connecticut town that inspired Gilmore Girls, because *WE ARE ADORABLE. We expected to stroll around with coffee, enjoying small-town life, but we didn’t expect to have a paranormal experience.

Thursday at 9:30 pm, we pull into the Curtis House Inn, “The oldest inn in Connecticut.” The place makes you feel like you need to whisper, and smells like history and moth balls (same thing, really). The lady at the front desk hands us a key and tells us to go to room 16.

The second-floor room induces claustrophobia, and is dark and home to at least two handfuls of **lady bugs, but after a 7 hour drive, any bed looks comfortable. We notice a pillow with the name Betty on it, and Betty is also the wifi password. Then, we see a painting, awkwardly hidden behind the TV so all you can see is the top of a head. At the same time, we each peer around either side of the TV and pull back with a hand over our mouths. It’s a painting of a child with completely black eyes. Dang, Betty!

Curtis House Haunted

We both start to laugh because what else do you do when faced with the most terrifying wall decor of all time. I back up behind the bed and notice that it is hung in such a way that you can just make out the eyes over the TV, watching you. I creep in for a closer look and realize, much to my horror, that the eye balls have actually been pressed inward. My first thought is that they are eye holes for some peeping Tom to stare into the room. This happened on X-Files, so I know it’s a real thing. I take the painting off the wall.

Curtis House Haunted

The frame is large and hollow and when we take out the painting, we see that someone cut out the eyes, pasted them to the inside of two halves of a ping-pong ball and taped it back to the painting, so the eyes follow you. WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?! At this point, I’m cracking up so hard that I almost wet myself, and I go into the bathroom, pull the door shut…and the knob falls out, locking me in the bathroom.

Curtis House Haunted

My mom is like, “Don’t leave me in here with Betty!” because we both decided that this picture was dead baby Betty. I fumble with the door and throw my body weight into it until it finally comes open. Right away, we take the picture, put it upside down, and put a heavy clock on top of it (in hindsight, we should have used the bible). We peek our heads into the hall and tip-toe from open room to open room, but NO ONE else has any unusual artwork.

Curtis House Ghost

We decide to go to sleep and ask about Betty in the morning. Of course, it’s hard to sleep when your bed squeaks as often as you breathe, lady bugs are bouncing around the room, and the ONE OTHER GUEST AT THE INN keeps using the bathroom behind your head at all hours of the night. We both wake up, roll over, and look at each other…

stare

First intelligible thought: coffee. I roll out of the ever-squeaky bed and make sure that the painting is still on the floor, because I kept dreaming that I woke to find it missing. Thankfully, it’s where we left it. We hold it up just to confirm that we didn’t hallucinate the whole thing. Nope. We didn’t.

Curtis House Ghost

We go downstairs to find coffee but do a little investigative work on our way, creeping down hallways and whatnot. I notice a plaque on the wall.

Curtis House Inn

And as soon as I see the first one, I see them everywhere – on book shelves, on the walls, in the dining room. We eventually read online that the most haunted room in the inn is room 16. Why, why, why, with an inn full of empty rooms would they put us there? And why, why, why wouldn’t they put this on their website? I decide I don’t want to know the story of the picture until we leave because we have already paid and have two more nights here. I go to the front desk and ask for another room because the squeaky bed is keeping us up. They put us in the room directly below 16… But the vibe is way better, and instead of a creepy ghost, we have these awkward dogs:

Curtis House Inn

The weekend, overall, is lovely, even though we wake up every night to the sound of owls outside the window. (I hope they were getting paid.) But that freaky picture is in the back of our minds, so when we check out on Sunday, we ask the lady at the front desk what the deal is with the picture in room 16. Wait for it..she tells us, “Oh, yeah. Gordon Ramsay did that.”…Plot twist! ***According to her, Gordon Ramsay stayed in room 16 during an episode of Hotel Hell and decided that cutting out the eyes of the picture would be funny. WRONG (trademark: Trump). Basically, to sum up the weekend, Gordon Ramsay is a dick.

Gordon Ramsay

THE END

*WE ARE STILL ADORABLE.

**If you look back at the picture of the TV, you’ll see that there is a little camera on top of it. That might be the creepiest part of the whole story, and while I put a sock over it while we slept, we forgot to ask the staff about it. There was no camera in our second room.

***She also told us that people have left room 16 in the middle of the night because they saw or heard something they couldn’t explain. But like, why wouldn’t you tell us that before you put us in that room?! I hate you and myself!

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Connecticut Fear: The Story of How We Got Punk’d by Gordon Ramsay

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s