Anecdotal Evidence

Bucket List Legend: The Story of Edie Simms

I have lots of goals on my bucket list: Bungee jump, go to the Galapagos Islands, write a book, swim with manatees, volunteer at an elephant rehabilitation program in Thailand, hike the Appalachian Trail, adopt a dog, talk to the ghost of *Shirley Jackson and most importantly, go to jail.

Why jail, you ask? No clue, I answer. But ideally, I’d get arrested at a bar for punching a loud racist or a handsy polo player and get escorted out to the sound of cheers…but I’m not picky.

For a long time, I thought I was the only one who harbored this secret desire to get arrested, but then I read an article about 102-year-old, Edie Simms. She lives in Missouri and volunteers all year, making pillows, socks, scarves and other homemade items to donate to the local senior center. But guess what? Sweet little Edie had a dream. More than anything, she wanted to get arrested. ❤

To celebrate her *September birthday, the police force obliged her wish. They handcuffed her, **tased her repeatedly (just kidding), and put her in the back of a cop car. Then they drove her to the senior center, where she could finally meet the recipients of her generosity.

Edie may be one of the oldest people alive in the states, and at 102, she is still fulfilling dreams (odd as those dreams might be)! For me, one of the worst parts about growing up has been the sinking feeling that the world is inhabited by more crappy people than good. But Edie Simms tips the scale in favor of goodness. She’s quirky and kind, and likes to remind people that, “It’s a great world if you just open your eyes and look at it.”


Shoot for the stars, y’all. You might just end up in the slammer.


*I’m literally taking a class at a community college this month called, “The Reality of Ghosts.” It’s a wonder that I have any friends.

**Edie’s birthday was September 25th. She told reporters, “You can tell what my folks were doing on Christmas before. They were making babies.” …#’TisTheSeason.

***I once asked a friend to tase me because I wanted to know what it would feel like. I think that same kind of logic is behind my wanting to go to jail. Don’t ask why my friend had a taser… And, yes, it hurt. Good story though.

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